Tr@c!'s journ@l

stonybrook started..wish me luckk!
hoping for a good semester but i cant wait till winterbreak...and i really hope i get to go to spain with danielle sping semester!!





You have a way of coming easily to me
And when you take, you take the very best of me
So I start a fight cause I need to feel something
And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted

[Chorus:]

Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away, ain't no use defending words that you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray
And I stood there loving you and wished them all away
And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

[Repeat Chorus]

You never did give a damn thing honey but I cried, cried for you
And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you
(Died for you)

Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Every smile you fake is so condescending
Counting all the scars you made
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you

its summer =)

im quitting my job.
going to a new school next year!
gettin an apartment
pretty excited.
hoping for lots of parties this summer

havent updated in foreverrrr....its almost march and i sorta kinda like my job lol its okayy i guess...have a few new friends which is great and makes me happy...no boyfriend lol-which is prob good lol...applying to a few schools but i really hope i get into usf cuz i want to go to warm florida and not freezing upstate lol...thats kinda it at the moment...peace out <33

i love october.

my birthday-->>amazing. there were some not so good moments but for the most part amazing. i love my friends and family lotss<33...i had such a good birthdayy!!! =)

school-->>is nothing exciting but im doing good..so thats good. hopefully picking a new school soon lol =)

work--->>sucks. tired of the drama. But i got a new job the meetin is next week so that shouls be funnn.

halloween--->> sooo soon. have my costumeeee..im excited for the partyyyy =P

last weekend--->>GREAT...haunted houseeee was scaryyyy..i was freaking the fuck out obvs lol. saturday night we saw lifehouse..and they were just amazinggg..im in love with jason wade<3...hes just amazingggg...and then after i got reallly drunk lol

...everything is actually going realllly well right now..no complaints..and thats kinda scary for me lol...i hope it lasts...<3


peace outtt<33

school is going okayyy...except my morning class cuz i like to stay out till 5am and make messes of melindas car =X
work is work. i started working for my uncle also but idk how i feel about it yet.
i really need to decide what im going to do with the rest of my life..asap. i have some ideas but im extremely indecisive and terrified of failing.
i've been really stressed out lately but i think yesterday i figured it out and i feel much better.
my birthday is coming up!!...im excited. i hope everyone comes out and i hope everyone has a good time!
since its almost october obv i have to go to show lol..so i got lifehouse tickets and im sooo excited. i saw them with the goo goo dolls in the summer and they were sooooo good. and the lead singer is REALLY hot..no joke.
i think i want a new boyfriend for my birthday lol-or at least someone to hang out with..any takers?...nice guys only!...even though people ::cough:: gaspare ::cough:: say girls hate nice guys thats why there are so many mean ones now...i dont agree with that at all.
i went to albany recently and it was fun!...the ride there was really funny..matt got hit with a rock in his eye SO funny. it was just a fun night with some dramatic moments...but thats nothing unusual lol. "everyone is getting some hot sex tonight"
something reallllllly funny happened this week that i can't write about but it was sooo funny...oh karma! lol
i think thats about it right now...so i gotta get some hw done...peace out kidsss<33

summer has been fun so far.

fall out boy show with amanda.
florida<3
my uncles bbq
just hanging out with everyone
soo much more actually but im kinda tired and dont feel like typing lol. so i will hopefully update this soon lol
goodnite<3

thank god mothers day is over. flowers owned my life lol. but thank youu to all who visited me i hope ur madres liked the flowers lol :o)

summer is sooooon<3..and by soon i mean tomorrow after my test lol. however im starting the summer vacation working 2-7 and then wed 9-7...arent u jealous?

but other then that im very excited for summer cuz i want the warm weather and plus i have tickets to the goo goo dolls and kelly clarkson<333 my cousin is coming to visit YAY! someone plan a cheap vacation with me??! =P

soo i went to a mets game tonight with alana(she cracks me up lol) and it was fun even though im not really a met fan it was still fun...got scared walking through queens lol(of course). then hung out with brian for a lil after cuz we went to the same game but didnt go together go figure lol.


anyways i have to go to sleep i class in the morninggg...gooodnite<33





i found this and i thinks its pretty funny :o)...

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Taco Bell ? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coo rdination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning

More than half of surveyed females between 18 and 25 would prefer to be run over by a truck than be fat.

...i wonder if thats true lol

school and babysitting tomorrow = no funnn
i want summmmmmmerrr...im gettin all excited about it lol



umm i dont really feel like typing anymore...i will update laterr lol...peace outtt kidss<33

school is stressing me out..i dont know what to do next year...someone just figure it out for me lol kthanks lol.

i neeeed summmer vacation. operation juicebox is in effect. i miss my mango juice like whoaah!!

lets plan a cheap vacation cuz im brokeee. butttt i think im gettin another job soon so that will be cool i really hope it works out and i make lots of moneyyy so i can just pay off the money i owe..and i will be sooooo happy.

i want to make a list of fun things to do over summer that way when it comes around im not sitting around wondering what i should do. help me come up with ideas!! okay cool.

summer list (so far):
1-see a show at jones beach
2-go to the beach alll the time
3-go running
4-the paint balloon thinggg (melinda you know what im talkin about lol)
5-become really good at beer pong lol\
...okay i cant think of anything else lol

I don't believe
In the smile that you leave
When you walk away
And say goodbye
Well I don't expect
The world to move underneath me
But for God's sake
Could you try?
I know that you're true to me
You're always there
You say you care
I know that you want to be mine

Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard
To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
That's all I'm asking for
Oh, where is your heart?

I don't understand
Your love is so cold
It's always me that's reaching out
For your hand
And I've always dreamed
That love would be effortless
Like a petal fallin' to the ground
A dreamer followin' his dream

Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard
To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
And that's all I'm asking for
Oh, where is your heart?

It seems so much is left unsaid
So much is left unsaid
But you can say anything
Oh, anytime you need
Baby, it's just you and me
Oh yeah

I know that you're true to me
You're always there
You say you care
I know that you want to be mine

Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard
To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
That's all I'm asking for
Oh yeah

Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard
To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
And that's all I'm asking for
Where is your heart?
Where is your heart?
Where is your heart?
Where is your heart?

hmmm sooo people are back at school :o(...but this week was good. I went to an Islander game with amanda and it was alott of fun. there was a shoot out and they won and it was intense but there werent really any fights..i was hoping. "hey cheap shot..fight about it"...worked on friday then came home and had to wait till after 11 to go out cuz my mom had her car and i was car-less it was sad. but finally i got to jones' house it was fun...there was some drama of course but i was completely oblivious to it...yes i never know whats going on. but apparently i was giving someone realllly dirty looks..thank you melinda for pointing it out..i wasnt meaning too it was just sort of happening. then saturday i worked all day then went and got food with melinda, then went to target<3..then dsw which was an unsuccessful trip...after that i came home showered and eventually got ready then played pool with amanda, melinda and erin and it was fun..some weird guy attempted to play with us but were like um no. after mike said they were bowling so we drove over there but got there when everyone was leaving pretty much so amanda and erin bowled then i went home and had to carfax like a million cars which was pointless. this morning i went to queens to look at cars and was terrrrible so instead we came back and went to fdale where i saw a car i liked and i we got it :o) its an 01 dodge stratus and im happy with it...its cute and much smaller then anything im used too lol..no more tanks/boats/taxis/limos/sex mobiles or anything else u may have called my car for me!! :o) thats pretty much my weekend. hopefully this week goes fastttt cuz i hate school but actually i have wed and thursday off..woohoo :o) then brian is comin home friday which im excited about havent seen him in sooooooo long...nd now his phone is broken so im never gonna talk to him either so thats not fun. but thats pretty much it for now i think so im gonna get going...ttyl kidss<33

sooo put some kelly clarkson on today and it made me feel better...i've missed her lol!

So today i think i did terrible on my spanish test which is just fantastic...my teacher is an idiot..soo who wants to tutor me?..yeaa im actually asking for help lol. Marketing was okay i actually like that class. Then i came home and chilled for a lil then my mom called me to tell me that someone she works with brought in a baby pig so i went and saw it. hes too cute i fed him. His name is bobby bacon..hes a cutie. then i came home and got some stuff done looked for some cars and found out i have to live in florida for 12 months to get instate tuition...so my mom is practically sending me there next week to change my license..im like chill i didnt even apply yet lol. but yeaa so im really liking the college in florida idea where its warm...if go everyone needs to visit me!!! i hope i go cuz i really want to go away and try something new and meet new people and im sure come into some new drama of course lol. but about it being warm today it was like 48 degrees and i was like ohhh it feels like summer..it was great compared to the FREEZING temps we have been having. Sooo whatelse..brian called me talked for like 5 seconds that was nice..sorta lol. i dont like missing people :o(...anywayzzz enough of the sadness...me and amanda went and looked at puppies and they are SOOOOO cuteee...i want one of course lol. idk why i started updating this i guess i like too when i get sad cuz i like to write about the better things that are going on and try to just forget about what makes me sad and im pretty sure that has to do with next month...just gotta get through it of course. soo nothin else is really going on in my life thats all that exciting right now though...but i neeeed to go out cuz im finally NOT sick anymore...so parties this weekend??..lemme know thanksss lol....okay now i really need to get to studying for my test tomorrow that hopefully i will do decent on lol...peace outt kidss<33

ohhh yesss and another thing that was good was my lovely vermont teddy bear that came in the mail yesterday<33

life has sucked lately but im not really that upset about it lol lets see...

-i had to drop my economics class
-my spanish teacher likes to talk in german and talk about postage stamps in cuba and how he likes getting 2 for 1 dinners in china town.
-i got into a car accident.
-car is pretty much totalled.
-i dont have car nor do i have alot of money for a new one
-i worked like crazzzzzzy this past week cuz of valentines day
-got sick and lost my voice
-my aunts car now has a dent on it that i dont think was there before-but i did NOT hit anything
-my car got stuck in the snow this morning
-i think i did bad on my test today.

good things...

-paycheck should be nice from work
-got a $20 tip for putting in like 2 roses in an arrangement
-spanish class was cancelled this morning
-brian is coming home this weekend!! :o)


...sooo glad its the weekend :o)...just babysitting today and work on saturdayy...relaxingggg :o)
-

florida tomorrow :o)

yeaaa so i was very excited for this vacation but not so much anymore...some stupid shit happened cuz someone made a really dumb decision but oh well what are u gonna do. but aside from that everything is gooood...working alot which will get me a nice paycheckkk, today is christmas eve which is my second favorite day of the year!! I saw some people i havent seen in awhilee last night which was good, even cait boyce and her whole famiy at the mall so that was lovelyy. and im happy that jorge isn't going to aruba cuz he told me he was but he isnt. im excited about some giftssssss even though my gifts arent as thoughtful as they usually are but this year i was just really busy but i still got my shopping done sorta lol. oh more importantly im going to floridaaaa on jan 2nd. staying there with the cfls till the 7th. im excited to just go and hang out with them. im def thinking some double dare, texas hold'em and hopefully getting drunk but minus the insane crying episodes....colleen!! oh and i need something to do for new years...invite me, and lets get dressed up!!!!! :o) so winter break started off kinda bad but fuck that i dont have school and i wanna have a good break so everyone call meeee<33

"why aren't you emo?"
"Cuz natasha is RIGHT there"

barriCUDA21: u were in my dream last night btw

potatotart103: i think about u everytime i sit at my computer which is alot cuz i keep lookin at the gift cards lol..and im like ohh alana lol haha


barriCUDA21: hilary duff adn joel madden split up
barriCUDA21: and lindsay lohan is still a whore


barriCUDA21: and that wasnt even close 2 cpr that they were giving lucas
potatotart103: hahahahaha
potatotart103: lol
potatotart103: i like how u notice that
barriCUDA21: hahaha oh man that annoyed me so much
barriCUDA21: i was like wtf is that
barriCUDA21: bc usually on tv shows they do a modified version of cpr but it's generally the same concept bc ya know u cant give a living person real cpr
barriCUDA21: but idk wtf he was doing 2 lucas... w/e he was doing wasnt doing him a damn thing... he didnt give him one rescue breath
barriCUDA21: moron



barriCUDA21: fucking fuck
potatotart103: mothafucker

potatotart103: fuck london oth is coming to bethpage


barriCUDA21: fucking dysentery
potatotart103: yeaa its a bitch lol
barriCUDA21: sooo when r u trying out for america's next top model?

barriCUDA21: people all over the world
barriCUDA21: join hands
barriCUDA21: start a love train
barriCUDA21: love train


barriCUDA21: and i love the new gap songs
barriCUDA21: with the hood
barriCUDA21: and the black guy
barriCUDA21: i mmbop to it

barriCUDA21: WP!
potatotart103: hell yea


barriCUDA21: im gossip queen
potatotart103: treu thatt u know everythinggg
potatotart103: i could so see u on like hollywood extra insider shower or something
barriCUDA21: haha
barriCUDA21: awesome
barriCUDA21: that would b awesome
barriCUDA21: bc then id get money
potatotart103: hahaha yessssss
barriCUDA21: and then ud want 2 hang out with me more bc id be famous
potatotart103: and lend me $20
potatotart103: lol
barriCUDA21: and then i can say things like
barriCUDA21: lindsay lohan is a whore
potatotart103: hahahahahahh
barriCUDA21: 2 the whole world


barriCUDA21: hahahah thats exactly wut i thought when i read it 2night
barriCUDA21: traci doesnt do that
potatotart103: but thats cuz i loooove quotes lol
barriCUDA21: i think 2night u should put me in ur away msg with quotes
barriCUDA21: bc u love me and quotes
barriCUDA21: only seems right
potatotart103: and tahts quite obvious i always use quotes i would speak in quotes if i could remember them lol....i dooo love u and quotes

barriCUDA21: wow i havemt talked 2 u in 9min
barriCUDA21: that is devastating



-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
okay and this for melindaaa lol :o)


potatotart103: i knowww he would be like freakkkk
artfreakforever: lol like he doesn't know that already
potatotart103: hahaha stopp i am not lol hah
artfreakforever: lol, yes you're right.. you're not a freakk...
potatotart103: ....heyy now
potatotart103: dont be sarcastic
potatotart103: omg can i tell u how i am dumb though lol
artfreakforever: um yes lol
potatotart103: haha


artfreakforever: yea, how did you forget something like that, it's in your mouth and isn't comfortable at all
potatotart103: i knowwww right
potatotart103: wtf
potatotart103: that sound sooo bad lol
potatotart103: hahahahahaha
artfreakforever: lolol


artfreakforever: it was so cool before i was casting my arm and it was just so weird that i couldn't move my arm
artfreakforever: i was just waving my arm around very awkwardly because i couldn't bend my elbow or wrist
potatotart103: omggg u def were
potatotart103: and i bet u were laughing to urself lol
artfreakforever: haha yea i was
artfreakforever: you would have been laughing too lol
potatotart103: probably lol
artfreakforever: i'm so casting your arm just so you know how if feels lol


artfreakforever: yea, can you imagine seeing that on the news "daughter kills father while plastering his face and forgetting to leave air holes"
potatotart103: they would be like what a freak lol
potatotart103: yeaa i just called u a freak lol
artfreakforever: hahaha, thanks, i guess you have to be one to know one

thanksgiving break was eventful to say the least. it definitly could have been better but it wasnt too bad. i was glad i got to see some people that i havent seen in a longgggg time lol :o) i cant believe the semester is almost over and i really have to get some project done asap lol. i dont really feel like typing anymore lol so i think im done for now kthanks...peace outt kidss<33

this weekend was a goodtime. :o)